Empowering Middle Schoolers: Four Strategies for Self-Reliance
By Pamela Smith, middle and high school principal
As a parent and educator, helping middle schoolers become more self-reliant is essential to their personal and academic development. You can empower them to take responsibility for their actions and decisions by fostering independence and self-sufficiency. Because we at Intermountain Christian School value these skills, here are four ways to support your middle schooler in becoming more self-reliant:
1. Encourage decision-making:
Give your child opportunities to make decisions and solve problems independently. Start with small choices, such as what to wear or which extracurricular activity to join, and gradually increase the complexity of decisions as they grow more comfortable. Offer guidance and support when needed, but allow them to experience the consequences of their choices, both positive and negative. This process helps them develop critical thinking skills and gain confidence in their ability to make choices. Your child will have opportunities to practice the skill of decision-making at ICS by choosing their electives and clubs as well as which extracurriculars which they would like to take part in.
2. Foster independence in daily tasks:
Encourage your middle schooler to take on more responsibilities in their daily routine. Teach them essential life skills like preparing meals, laundry, and managing their time and schedules. Gradually delegate them age-appropriate chores and household tasks, such as cleaning their room, taking care of pets, or assisting with grocery shopping. By increasing their responsibilities, you promote a sense of self-reliance and contribute to their overall development. Your child will get practical experience in this area at ICS by getting to class on time, keeping their locker organized, and making sure they have all their homework before leaving for the day.
3. Cultivate problem-solving skills:
Help your middle schooler develop problem-solving skills by encouraging them to find solutions to their challenges. When facing difficulties or setbacks, encourage them to think critically and brainstorm solutions. Avoid jumping in immediately to solve their problems for them. Instead, provide guidance, ask open-ended questions, and help them explore different approaches. This process empowers them to develop resilience and problem-solving abilities to serve them well. Your child will have chances to solve problems at ICS through involvement in MSLT by planning events for their peers or through the everyday interpersonal relationships they’ll build and nurture.
4. Promote self-advocacy:
Middle school is a time when children should start learning how to advocate for themselves. Encourage your child to communicate their needs and concerns effectively. Teach them to ask questions, seek clarification, and respectfully express their opinions. Encourage them to approach their teachers, coaches, or other authority figures if they have questions or need assistance. By developing solid self-advocacy skills, your middle schooler will become more confident and capable of navigating various social and academic situations. Your child will be encouraged to advocate for themselves at ICS as they take responsibility for their academic and extracurricular achievement and talk with teachers and coaches one on one to resolve issues instead of you needing to do all the communicating for them.
Remember that each child develops at their own pace, so be patient and provide support tailored to their needs. Celebrate their progress and offer prayer and guidance, balancing independence and appropriate direction. ICS faculty and staff desires to come alongside you and your middle schooler in prayer and support. By fostering self-reliance, you equip your middle schooler with valuable skills that will serve them well and honor God throughout their lives.